Yetis and a Rogue Panda on Campbell Mesa

During this morning's blizzard, residents along Old Walnut Canyon Road reported sightings of at least 6 yetis and even a rogue panda on the rampage, this time in the vicinity of Campbell Mesa. Eyewitnesses say the panda appeared confused, following slightly behind the yetis as though he had been left behind. Game and Fish experts believe the panda may have rabies and they are currently warning residents of Mountainaire to be extremely careful as the panda may be hibernating there. Authorities are working quickly to capture the panda - they even sent a fake post on Facebook that NATRA was offering free beer at Uptown Billiards on Sunday afternoon, assuming that is all it will take to get the rogue panda out in the open.

Eyewitnesses also swear that the 6 unfashionable yetis had brightly colored clashing outfits (though none were wearing purple), and while they were smaller than normal (according to Sabrina, 3 standard of deviations below normal) they had heavy gaits similar to those reported elsewhere. Their speed was quite slow, lumbering along at perhaps 12 to 14 minutes per mile. Later, reporters found that their tracks went for approximately 6 miles, covering the outer loop of the Campbell Mesa trail system.

A second sighting reported that the Yetis and rogue panda walked into It's About Coffee at 11 AM. As rumors spread throughout Flagstaff, inquiring minds crowded outside the coffee shop, however, they were disappointed to only count 6 scrawny, exhausted local runners walking to their snow covered vehicles. When interviewed by NPR, Arizona Daily Sun reporters, and Phoenix news crews, NATRA runners David, Susan, Bret, Neil, Sabrina, Bruce and David refused to comment on the strange early morning occurrences on Campbell Mesa.